


how (not) to be an effective spy

by iris718



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:55:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26684038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iris718/pseuds/iris718
Summary: Julian is learning surveillance techniques from Garak, and is testing them out by spying on his friends and colleagues. He's not quite as subtle as he would like to think he is, and they decide to play a prank on him.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 9
Kudos: 14





	how (not) to be an effective spy

**Author's Note:**

> Just a bit of fun, I'll add the rest over the next several days as I write it! Figuring out how to write a plot, even just a short one, is hard (but enjoyable)!

“ _ What _ is Julian doing?” Major Kira burst out as, once again, the slim form darted into a shop on the Promenade as she happened to glance in its direction. The first two times she thought it might be a coincidence, that like her, Dr. Bashir had decided to visit some of the new vendors on his day off. But four times? Something was going on. “Is he stalking me? Don’t tell me he’s moved on from you and is going to try going after me now.”

Dax stifled a giggle, her blue eyes twinkling. “I would pay to see the scene that would play out if Julian tried to ask you out. I don’t think it’s that though. I think it has to do with Garak.”

“Garak. If he is having the doctor follow me out of some ill advised plan for...for what?” Kira sputtered. “Forgiveness for the occupation? Revenge? Sadism?” With each word she gestured, her hand swinging dangerously close to several tiny glass bottles of perfume.

Dax grabbed her hand and pulled her into an alcove off the Promenade. “No, no, nothing like that. You know how excited Julian gets about espionage, and subterfuge.”

Kira rolled her eyes. “ _ Everyone _ knows. Remember that first time he met Garak and came bounding into Ops like a kid who was just told they could have jumja sticks for breakfast?”

“Exactly. Julian told me that Garak has been teaching him some surveillance techniques. I think he’s practicing by surveilling you.”

“Hm. Well he could certainly use some help. He couldn’t be more obvious if he were running after me shouting ‘I’m following you!’ I’m about ready to snap his neck.”

Dax smiled slowly, deviously. “I was thinking about something a little more...fun.”

“What do you mean, fun?” asked Kira warily. Dax’s idea of  _ fun _ did not always translate.

“Come on, I’ve already got a plan.” Before Kira could enquire further or protest that maybe they should act like the professionals that they are and not play tricks on their colleagues, Dax had taken her by the arm and dragged her away. 

Julian glanced up from the perfume bottles, sniffing his wrist experimentally where the vendor had placed a couple of test drops.  _ Damn _ . He could only have been distracted for a moment...well, maybe two. There had been so many scents to try out and he didn’t want to be obvious about staring at Kira and Dax. But now they had gotten away from him, and as he looked around the crowds on the Promenade, he couldn’t see them anywhere.  _ Oh well,  _ he thought as he turned back to the perfume stall, indicating the two bottles he would like to purchase.  _ I’ll pick up the trail later, or try someone else. Maybe Miles, or Captain Sisko. Maybe Quark, though Odo is always watching him already, I should mix it up.  _ Lost in these ruminations he didn’t even notice the constable until he literally walked into him.

“Oh, Odo! I didn’t see you there, I apologize!’ Julian stammered as he danced out of the way. 

“Do be careful, Doctor” warned Odo in his gravelly voice. Julian answered with a wave as he hurried on his way. The doctor really was getting more peculiar each day. And spending what seemed to be an inordinate amount of time in Garak’s shop. How many sets of clothing do solids actually need? If the doctor was any indication, the answer was “a lot.” Unless there was some other reason he would be visiting Garak…best not to speculate, but maybe he would keep a closer eye on the comings and goings of the doctor and the tailor.

*********

The motion indicator on the door of Garak’s Clothiers chimed as Julian entered. Garak himself was crouched on the floor next to a mannequin draped in a shimmery blue fabric, carefully pinning a hem. He had glanced up, but when he realized it was only the doctor, he went back to his work.

“My dear doctor” he said as he carefully eased a pin into the delicate fabric. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Julian came further into the shop, glancing around as he always did at the array of fabrics and daring outfits modeled on the shop mannequins. He leaned on Garak’s work table, trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to appear nonchalant. “I was just practicing a few of those surveillance techniques on the Promenade and thought I would pop in and say hello.”

“Ah, excellent!” Garak exclaimed, now putting the pins down and standing up so that he could focus all of his attention on the doctor. “And who, may I ask, was the subject of your keen observations today?”

Julian narrowed his eyes at the Cardassian, feeling relatively certain that he was being made fun of. Garak’s face was as inscrutable as ever though, with his smile just perfectly straddling the line between friendly and fiendish. Julian could never tell what he was thinking, which, he supposed, was what made Garak so intriguing. Well, that and the distinct possibility that in addition to being a tailor the other man was also a murderer and spy. Why that thrilled Julian rather than frightened him, he really couldn’t say. For now, as usual, he decided to believe that Garak was being sincere, since he really didn’t think he had the mental fortitude to sift through the layers of innuendo to find a (likely nonexistent) grain of truth.

“I was following Major Kira. I think she may have noticed me at one point, but I played it off well by pretending that I was just shopping.”

Garak had witnessed Julian “playing things off” before--the awkward batting away of a plant frond the first time they met leaping most readily to mind--so he did not have much confidence in his friend’s ability to pass unnoticed. Though that was where the fun lay in teaching him. “A ruse which appears to have been genuine, if that packet in your hand is any indication.”

Julian started-he had almost forgotten that he actually bought the perfume! He opened the bag and pulled out one of the bottles. “Yes! I-I actually got this one for you. I thought it smelled like you. Well...not smelled  _ like _ you of course, but like something that you might like. Here, try!” With that last, he thrust the bottle toward Garak, who took it and sniffed gingerly.

“Indeed, this does have a pleasing aroma, thank you Doctor. However, I would be remiss not to inform you that, should you desire to pass unnoticed, a distinctive perfume may not be the wisest choice.”

“You’re right, of course, Garak.” replied Julian, smiling wryly. “Well, I suppose I’ll just save it for my off days then. Or for a special occasion.”

“Indeed,” said Garak as he gently replaced the stopper in the bottle and set it on his desk. “A  _ very _ thoughtful gift. Now, let’s get down to the next lesson in surveillance. What do you know about crafting disguises?”

*********

Julian raised his hand to the top of his head, feeling the smooth prosthetic uncertainly.

“Doctor, if you keep touching it, you will most certainly arouse suspicion. Now, can you at least  _ try _ to look natural?” Garak fussed around, straightening the collar of Julian’s shirt, peering closely at his face and dabbing more blue makeup on a blemish imperceptible to any but the tailor.

“Are you really trying to tell me that when you were a member of the Obsidian Order you wore disguises of other species?” Julian was really not sure about any of this, but, well...it  _ was _ a bit fun to pretend to be someone you’re not. And to spend time with Garak outside of their regular lunches. There was something to be said for quality time, even if he did feel somewhat ridiculous.

“My dear doctor, I don’t recall ever insinuating that I was a member of the Obsidian Order! No, no, all my expertise in observation and disguise come from my role as humble tailor. You never know who is going to commission a special piece after all!” With that, Garak put the final touches on Julian’s disguise and turned him around to face the mirror. “And a very handsome Bolian you make, too.”

Under the blue makeup, Julian felt his cheeks heat with a blush. He was grateful that the color didn’t show through the layers of pigment on top of his skin. Looking at himself in the mirror, he was starting to get a bit excited. He could feel the giddiness that he used to get as a child entering into one or another scheme or game, though this time his partner was a probably-dangerous Cardassian ex-spy, and not a definitely-non-dangerous teddy bear. Still. The anticipation of entering an imaginative state, where he, Julian Bashir, was the dashing spy, appearing and disappearing at will, stealing secrets right out from under his quarry’s nose. And who knows? Maybe someday these skills he was honing would come in useful for Starfleet.  _ Dr. Bashir, we need to recruit you for a mission of the utmost secrecy. We’ve been told that your skills in espionage and evading detection are unparalleled, even amongst Starfleet Intelligence. We must warn you though, this is a very dangerous assignment we are asking you to undertake. “I didn’t join Starfleet because I wanted to play it safe. I will do whatever it takes for-”  _ What would be the equivalent of the old Earth expression “for queen and country?” “For admiral and Starfleet?” It didn’t really have the same ring to it--

“Doctor?” Garak’s voice jolted Julian out of (yet another) reverie. Maybe he should work on not getting so lost in thought. That probably wouldn’t be a helpful attribute for an expert spy. “Right! Yes, sorry Garak.” A quick tug of his tunic and another hand run over the top of his head. “Ready!”

“Well then Doctor, I shall take my leave and wish you the best of luck. And remember--act natural.” Julian watched as Garak exited his quarters, noting how the other man glanced rapidly around as he walked out the door, clearly noting all his surroundings. He wondered when Garak had started doing that. When it became a matter of life or death for him to notice everything and everyone around him. Garak probably hadn’t had the luxury of getting lost in a daydream in years. Still, Julian wasn’t  _ actually _ going to be working for an intelligence agency, risking his life and others’ to obtain state secrets. He was just having a bit of fun, and honing some skills. Now. Time to find out what Major Kira was up to. Or maybe he would try out following Dax for a change. Or Miles.

*********

It turned out that he didn’t have to choose which of his friends to spy on. The three of them were in Quark’s having a drink together and speaking rather urgently. Julian felt surprised, and a bit jealous--since when did they all spend time together outside of work? And why wouldn’t they invite him if they were going for a drink? Surely they knew he was off duty. A bit miffed, he made his way (unobtrusively) to a table not too far away, where he could sit with his back to a corner but still have a good line of sight on his friends. Garak had told him once always to sit with his back to a corner, that way you have the best view and no one can sneak up behind you and slit your throat. When Garak told him that, Julian had the somewhat creeping feeling that not only did he know this from experience, but that Garak himself may have been the one doing the sneaking and throat slitting. He ordered a drink, and pretended to be interested in watching the nearby game of dabo, while really straining his ears to hear the conversation of his friends.

_ I should have sat a little closer _ he mused, realizing he couldn’t hear them particularly well over the other patrons of the bar. What he could hear though, worried him a bit. He caught words like “priority,” “message,” “secret,” but he couldn’t make out any more. He decided to get up and casually walk closer to the dabo wheel, pretending he was going to place a bet. From that vantage point he could hear more clearly.

“But why can’t we tell Commander Sisko what’s going on?” asked Chief O'Brien.

Dax replied “You know Benjamin. He would do his duty and tell Starfleet, and then this whole thing could blow up in our faces. I don’t know who will be able to solve this problem, but I don’t want to get Benjamin involved.”

“Agreed.” said Kira. “Now let’s get out of here, we’ve already spent more time talking about this than I feel comfortable with.” The other two nodded, and the three drained their drinks and left the bar, splitting up at the entrance and going their separate ways. Julian thought about trying to follow them, but decided that might be too obvious. Glancing at their abandoned table, he realized that one of them had left a PADD behind. He sauntered past the table and, as he passed, carefully picked up the PADD and left Quark’s, trying very hard not to look behind himself to see if anyone noticed him (and very nearly succeeding). Behind the bar, Quark rolled his eyes. What was Dr. Bashir doing running around disguised as a Bolian? Hew-mons. He would never understand the things they found entertaining. He couldn’t spend too much time thinking about the escapades of Starfleet doctors though. He had to make a call.

Julian meanwhile, thinking he had pulled off his latest caper brilliantly, scuttled back to his quarters, and before even taking off his disguise, read through the contents of the recovered PADD.


End file.
